First, I am a mother
My About Me page begins with this:
“When my daughter recently woke up in the middle of the night (midnight) and came into my office, I saw it as a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with her; uninterrupted by her attention stealing little brother. I wasn’t quite finished with my project at hand, so she climbed on my lap and snuggled in. I typed, thankful for my lengthy arms, the remaining paragraph of my article. I asked her if she knew what a midnight snack was. She didn’t. So I explained, and she went into the kitchen and took celery out of the fridge. A big stalk for her and a little broken one for me. The little stinker. Then I showed her some quick and easy graphic design techniques on my iMac. She was a pro within minutes. I snapped this photo on the computer at some point, and it captured the moment perfectly. So you want to know “About Me”? I’m a mother; a working mother. ”
A working mother is, by definition, a woman with a constant need for work/life balance. If we’re focused on work, then we are likely not paying “proper” attention to our children. If we’re dedicating extra time to our children, then our work may be suffering. Or the work may be on our minds as we play and parent. Or maybe you have to work Saturdays and can’t attend soccer games. Balance, balance, balance.
That’s the work/mom balance. What about you?
No not you the mom. YOU! The other one. The person with beliefs and passions. The one who the mom bases her parenting on. The YOU who is always in the background as the one that “mom you” uses to teach her children. Do you ever focus on her? Do you see her anymore?
Once I became pregnant with my first child, I became so devoted and involved in what it meant to be a mother. At least what I thought it meant. I talked about pregnancy and mom stuff with every friend and family member to the point that I’m sure I was annoying. I read book after book. I was completely obsessed with being the best mother I could be, and I did everything I could not to screw it up.
And then I had my baby. And she grew. And I continued on this path. Slowly losing myself without even realizing it. Three years and one day after my first child was born, I gave birth to my son. And then it all changed. And that’s when I had the epiphany.
You can’t do it all. You can’t do everything perfect. And even if you do everything “perfect”, your kids still could be negatively affected by it.
The world is a tough place. It’s our duty, as mothers, to do our best as human beings to set an example for our children. And being the best human being you can be his hard freakin’ work! And it means focusing on yourself. On YOUR needs. On YOUR desires. And you must know that this doesn’t mean you’re selfish. You must know this.
It’s never easy. That’s why I get coached. And that’s why I coach. As mothers, our children are on our minds constantly, at every turn.
If you have trouble finding the balance, you can get ahold of me on the contact page. I love to hear from me readers and receive input and I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about coaching. I encourage comments in the box below to promote a positive and supportive flow. Also, you’ll also find my eZine, Men Lift Heavy Stuff™ to be a helpful source of inspiration. The current issue of Men Lift Heavy Stuff is focused on strength. The strength in us all.
Thank you.